At first, it may feel like you are just “arguing over stuff.” But if your ex keeps what clearly belongs to you, ignores your requests to return it, or threatens to sell or destroy it, Utah law treats that as a property dispute.

Most of these disputes are handled as civil matters (you ask a court to award you the items or their value). In more serious cases for example, where your ex openly admits they are keeping or destroying your things on purpose police may view it as theft or criminal deprivation of property. The rest of this guide walks through the basic civil path first, then explains when a situation might cross into criminal territory.

Your first move in Utah should almost always be a calm, clear written demand for your belongings. Judges and police officers both want to see that you tried to resolve things without a fight.

In your message (text, email, or letter), include:

• A short list of the key items you want back.
• A reasonable deadline (for example, within 3–7 days).
• Options for how to return the items (pickup time, neutral location, with a friend, etc.).
• A calm tone: no insults, no threats, no “you’ll regret this,” even if you are angry.

Whenever possible, attach or save proof that shows the items are yours, such as photos, receipts, or earlier messages where your ex acknowledges the property belongs to you. This written demand becomes a paper trail that small claims judges and officers can review later.

If your ex agrees in principle but you are worried about the interaction, you can plan a safe property pickup. In Utah, local police departments sometimes provide a brief “keep-the-peace” escort when you retrieve belongings from a former partner.

In practice, officers can:

• Stand by while you gather your items.
• Discourage arguments, intimidation, or harassment.
• Note if your ex refuses to hand over clearly identified belongings.

However, they generally cannot decide who owns a disputed item or physically force your ex to hand something over on the spot. Their presence is mainly about safety and documentation. Call the non-emergency number in your ex’s city and ask if they assist with property retrieval after breakups.

Most of the time, an ex refusing to return belongings is a civil problem. You are asking a court to order the return of your property or pay you its value. You are not asking that your ex be punished.

It may start to look like a criminal issue if your ex:

• Clearly admits they are keeping your stuff to hurt you or get revenge.
• Threatens to destroy or sell your belongings even after you ask for them back.
• Sells, pawns, or gives away property that obviously belongs to you.

Those facts may fall under Utah’s theft statutes, where someone knowingly exercises control over property that is not theirs. Whether police treat it that way depends on the evidence. If you think this may be happening, gather screenshots and consider contacting law enforcement to describe the situation.

If your ex will not return your things after a clear written demand and a reasonable chance to cooperate, your next step is often Utah Small Claims Court.

In small claims, you typically sue for the value of what is being withheld, not necessarily the physical items themselves. Utah small claims courts can hear cases up to a statutory dollar limit (check current Utah limits before filing).

To prepare your case, gather:

• Photos of the belongings in your home, car, or possession before the breakup.
• Receipts, order confirmations, or bank statements showing you paid for the items.
• Texts, emails, or social messages where your ex admits the items are yours or promises to return them.
• A copy or screenshot of your written demand and any response (or lack of response).

Judges are used to these disputes and look for simple, everyday proof that the property belonged to you and that your ex refused to give it back after a fair chance.

Every breakup is different, but certain patterns come up again and again in Utah courts. Here is how your situation might fit into common scenarios.

• Scenario 1: Your ex just ignores you. You send a polite written demand and get silence. This is usually a civil dispute. Document the demand and their lack of response, then consider small claims if the property is worth it.
• Scenario 2: Your ex threatens to trash or sell your stuff. Save those messages. This may be evidence of intentional deprivation and could interest police, especially if they follow through.
• Scenario 3: Your ex says it was a “gift.” Gift arguments come down to intent and proof. Cards, messages, or receipts in your name can help show an item was not actually gifted away.
• Scenario 4: You both contributed to an item. For shared property (like furniture or electronics), a judge may split value or assign it based on who used it, who paid more, or who reasonably needs it.
• Scenario 5: Your ex returns some items but refuses others. Partial cooperation still leaves a dispute over what is missing. Keep track of what you received and what is still withheld so you can clearly explain it to the court.

In all of these scenarios, the same rules help you: stay calm, stay in writing, and keep every piece of evidence that shows what belonged to you and how your ex responded.